Friday 25 May 2007

And it Hits...

So yesterday morning I went to work, and was just feeling super sensitive. Everybody was talking and I just wanted to scream, all the noise was just making my ears ring and everywhere I went something smelled absolutely horrible! It was either cats, or a bird, or the garbage, or just the scent of something that made me want to gag. I was super thirsty, I like I could drink a gallon of water, but water tasted like chalk dust and I had to choke it down, even though I had this insatiable thirst! I felt like I could pass out, so I went out in the waiting room (nobody was in there) to sit down for a moment, and I just started crying!! For no good reason! Just started bawling my eyes out, so of course I tried to go hide somewhere so nobody would see me. It's hard to hide the puffy eyes and red nose so of course I got busted. I had stopped crying at that point but as soon as somebody asked me what was wrong, I could only answer, I don't know! and start bawling again. Everyone else had had a bad day too I guess, up until that point. Jackie and Kat had both cried during one of the two euthanasias they had to do before I got there. Things just weren't going well.

Nothing cures a bad day like a decaf skinny iced caramel macchiato (say that one 5 times fast) from Starbucks. Hit the spot, didn't taste like dirt, and brought a smile to my face. Relief!! I was hungry too, but nothing sounded good until Jackie and I went to the store to see what we could pick up for lunch. We settled for a bake at home pineapple and ham pizza. It was good. I ate 4 pieces (hey, it was a thin crust with light cheese). I managed to later eat some cottage cheese, and an apple. Then I couldn't stomach anything else until I got home. It was a late day, didn't get home until 8, and thankfully my beans were done for my bean burrito I wanted so badly, and my tortillas came out terrible!! Brian was over hangin' out with Drew, and he had some at home, so he brought them over, what a lifesaver! Let me tell you, I had two burritos and they totally hit the spot!!! YUM!

Well, I'm off for now. I need to run to the store and I HAVE to go to the gym today! I haven't gone in ages, and I'm already 2 pounds up! Gotta slow down that a little bit! I'm only suppose to gain 2-5 pounds in the first trimester, and I'm only just coming up to 8 weeks!

Thursday 24 May 2007

Nurse Appointment

Tuesday was a long day! I've been having a sore jaw for about a week now, so I had an appointment at Family Practice at 8:30 to get it checked out. He said it was a muscle spasm, and gave me some tylenol and motrin. I let him know I was pregnant and he pulled out his little book, and said that these were okay, but maybe I should check with my OB-GYN just in case. Thanks, really! So picked up the meds but didn't take any. At this point it was after 9, and my nurse appointment at OB-GYN was not until 1:00. It was going to take an hour and a half to drive, home and back again, and I had a few errands to run, so I thought I would hang out on base and get them done.

I walked everywhere, to the BX, I walked to the parts store which was closed, then back to my car. Went to get gas, drove to Mildenhall to check the mail, pop in the BXtra, the parts store here, and get a sandwich at Subway (which apparently, I'm not longer allowed to eat cold deli meats! Go figure). I still had a while left, so I drove back to Lakenheath and read a magazine in the car for about 45 minutes.

I finally went upstairs to my appointment, which turned out to be a "group thing" with one other person anyway. We got a ton of information about do's and don'ts (by the way, Motrin, is a no-no Doc). A book about w0hat to expect at our appointments and a video, which I haven't had a chance to watch yet. I learned all I ever wanted to know about cystic fibrosis, and had to sign whether I wanted to get tested for it (blood test). They separated us to go over our medical history, which mine wasn't very significant. She assured me that the cramps I was having are normal, and that tight pulling I get real low when I sneeze or move to quickly in the wrong direction is round ligament pain, and also normal. She told me to go down to the lab and give some blood for some prenatal tests, so off I went.

Giving some blood was a slight understatement. I'm pretty sure she only left me with 4 red blood cells. Just kidding, but they took a lot. They took 9 full tubes of blood for just about everything you can think of, and then gave me 2 cups to pee in. Something funny happens here that I don't find out until later, but it went something like this: After being bled out, I picked up my purse, my 15 sheets of paper, 3 pamphlets, book, and DVD in one hand, she hands me my two pee cups and disinfecting wipes, and stickers to label the cups and I manage to hold them all in my other hand. At some point, which I don't recall, she handed me my ID. I'm not entirely sure where I was holding that, but apparently she had given it to me. I went straight into the bathroom to produce my samples and then gathered up all of my belongings and left. I got a phone call later to say that they had my ID, at the time I assumed I had forgotten to get it from vampire lady. Drew had to go pick it up for me since I couldn't get on base without my ID, and apparently it had been found, not only in the bathroom, but in the TOILET. Gross. I wonder how many people peed on it and tried to flush my poor flat self down the john before some kind soul reached in and pulled me out! Then I think, well how in the heck did I manage to toss my ID in the toilet and not notice it? I usually look before I flush! You never can be too safe when flushing a toilet.

So that was my excitement for Tuesday. Oh, and one of those Awwwwww moments. when I got home, I was again, tired (are you surprised?) and went upstairs to get a bit of reading done and take a nap. Drew has been having sympathy fatigue and came up to nap with me for a while and came upstairs carrying his "good daddy" pamphlets that I had brought home from the nurse. He read every single one of them and then we curled up and napped for a couple of hours. I was so proud of my hubby!

I've been waking up at 6 in the morning for no apparent reason, which to anybody who knows me, knows that is very uncharacteristic of Jen. So of course, when I go to work, at 11, by 4 or 5, I'm absolutely exhausted and just ready for a nap, but I still 2-3 more hours to get through before I can go home and crash. Even on days I don't work, by 4 or 5.. it's nap time. Maybe I'm jut a wimp, but this is tough work and I'm just getting started! I had a hard time eating yesterday, and all I really wanted was a bean burrito. Unfortunately in England, you can just run down to Maria's taco shop and get your self some frijoles and cheese in one of those piping hot authentic tortillas. Your options are fish and chips, or some kabobs. Typing those foods is making me queasy. I managed to eat rather healthily. Some yogurt, a couple peanut butter on celery sticks, an apple, cottage cheese and peaches and a cranberry/raspberry innocent smoothie (one good thing England does have.. Innocent Smoothies! Best stuff EVER, and GOOD for you too!). Drew was coming home early, so I asked him if he could PLEASE find me a bean burrito! He brought me one too! It wasn't the one I was thinking of in my mind, but it hit the spot. In the meantime, I put the pinto beans in some water to soak over night. I'll just have to make my OWN burritos (which I still have an appetite for). I had it all planned to get up in the morning, give them a cook, and have a burrito to take to work tomorrow, but of course.. we're completely out of my favorite spinach tortillas!! Or any tortillas for that matter. I wish I could make them like Grandma does! I don't have time this morning, but I'll try it when I get home tonight. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

So anyway, that's the story of my last couple of days. I work today, and then I'm off until Tuesday. Drew and I have the next 4 days to spend together! Yeah! Oh, and I'm booking our trip to Scotland July 6-9th! Jackie (one of the vets I work with, and friend), is going to come stay with Cossie while we are gone. I know he'll be in good hands. I don't trust my boy with just anybody! I'm looking forward to the trip. We're going to stay in Edinburgh, and go up to see Loch Ness (because you can't be in Scotland and miss a chance to see Nessie!). I'm excited, but Scotland, is PRICEY! At least we're driving, so we should only have to fill up on gas once, and we can pack a lot of our food and save money on eating out. I'll post soon! 3 weeks until our first ultrasound!!!

Monday 21 May 2007

7 weeks (1 day)

Can you believe I'm 7 weeks and a day already?? It's going so slow, but so fast at the same time. Amazing!! All the family knows now (Hi! If you're reading this!). Everyone seems as excited as we are, so that's good. I must admit, I was a little nervous, lol. I loved hearing Dad and Leslie's reaction on the phone Friday (and Mom's on Tuesday), I just wish I could have been there in person to tell them! I'm very frustrated being this far away, but if everything works like it should, we'll be back in the states in October.

I had a nurse appointment today at Family Advocacy. It was nice to be able to talk to her about some of my questions and concerns. I'm terrified about my diet, though she said I'm eating the right things. I just ALWAYS Feel full. Even if I only eat small amounts, but several times throughout the day. I'm pretty sure I'm not eating too much, but I've gained about 1.5 to 2 lbs already (I'm pretty sure it's all in my boobs). She said that is fine and normal, and that as long as I continue eating the way I am I should gain the healthy amount and not too much. She gave me a number to a nutritionist in case I needed some backup confirmation. I fully intend on giving her a call!

I received a plethora of other information too, all very helpful, and even some stuff for Drew! There are some classes we can take both together, and separate, and I am going to take advantage of those too. I feel like I'm jumping the gun a bit, but I'd rather be VERY prepared, than trying to do cramming last minute! Never can learn too much right??

I have a nurse appointment at OB-GYN tomorrow, mostly just for orientation and to go over the paperwork I filled out a couple of weeks ago. I'm not going to get too excited about it, but can't wait for our 11 week appointment where we get to see the bean! I have a regular doc appointment tomorrow as well, because for the past week, my jaw has been killing me, and this morning I could barely open my mouth to eat my breakfast. I think it's my TMJ acting up, not sure they can do anything for it, but maybe give me some pain relieving exercises to do. It's terrible!

Well, it's 8:30 PM and I think I'm going to go get in bed already. I'm just absolutely exhausted still (will it ever end?) and my doc appointment is at 8:25 tomorrow morning, so I need to be there about 8. I've been getting up earlier and earlier these days, probably because of the amount of sleep I've been getting. Who would have thought... Jen? A morning person? Never.

Oh yeah, here's my 6 week picture. It doesn't show much because, well, there isn't much to show! I'll take one at 8 weeks, then every 4 weeks from there. But I wanted to give one to start with! I miss everybody!! Can't wait to get home!

Thursday 17 May 2007

Phone Calls

So tonight I'm going to call Dad and see if he got his package and have him open it! I'm hoping Leslie will be home too, but I know sometimes she doesn't get home until later. Drew is going to call his Mom and Dad this weekend, then it will all be out!!

I also received a phone call from Family Advocacy on base. They seem to have a really cool program that teaches you all sorts of things like nursing, bathing, swaddling, etc. They have a nurse to talk to, and it's all free! So I set up my first appointment for Monday morning at 10AM. I have a ton of questions, so it will be nice to have somebody to talk to before my doc appointment in June! Apparently they give away the book "What to Expect When Your Expecting", but I had already purchased it, oh well! She said not to buy the next in the series, because they give you that one also. Teehee.

I felt sick almost all day yesterday. I was off of food, the only thing I managed to eat was bread like substances. Toast, Digestive Biscuits, popcorn. I tried to eat a sandwich, but it made me want to hurl. Even when people were talking about food, I was getting queasy! The one thing I was craving yesterday was apples! I ate 4 apples yesterday, and still wanted more! I felt bad that I didn't eat my normal healthy stuff, and I ate so much starchy breads, but I figured eating something was better than nothing. I still haven't barfed yet, but sometimes I'd rather barf than be nauseous! I'm still a little off food today so far, but I ate some cream of wheat and toast for breakfast. Hopefully I'll be okay the rest of the day! I need to eat some veggies, but none of them sound very good. Even my normal juices don't seem appealing at all! Ugh!! Well I'm off to shower then to work. I'm working 4 days this week, then I'm off Sat-Tues, work Wed, and Thurs. Then off Friday - Monday again. Maybe I'll actually get to clean something around here!

Monday 14 May 2007

6 weeks 1 day

I'm 6 weeks and 1 day today! I'm still waiting for that "real" feeling to kick in. Hasn't happened yet. I went to the gym today for a little bit, did a bit of cardio and some light arm exercises on the machines. It felt good to get some exercise again. I admit that I ate a LOT of junk yesterday. I haven't felt so poopy in a while! I'm sure it was due to the fact my body has been so used to eating healthy good stuff over the last several months, that it's not happy when I give it what I've come to call "artificial crap from a box". I've really been loving my fresh fruits, veggies, nuts, and whole grains! I'm beginning to have light bouts of nausea. Nothing huge, and no vomiting, but I'm definitely feeling that "green" feeling every now and again. I'm still exhausted as well, I heard that it lightens up a little after the first trimester... do I really have to wait that long? It's going like molasses as it is!

Yesterday was Mother's Day, and I made all of my phone calls to mom's and grandma's. It was so hard not to spill the beans. I was really hoping that Mom and Dad's packages would have arrived by Saturday, but no such luck. I had to ask Mom on the sly about what time the mail came, and then call back later to see if it came. I waited to talk to Dad until Sunday, but his hadn't arrived either. He's going to be gone for FOUR days over the weekend, so I need to try and contact him sometime before then. I had to ask (again on the sly), what time he got home from work, and what time he left so I could call later this week. Drew's folks should be getting their packages by Friday or Saturday, so he said he's going to call this weekend. I'm getting so nervous!? What will they all say??

I'm getting more and more excited about being a mom myself (boy does that sound weird), but at the same time, I'm very nervous, and I'm still upset about the screwup with our PCS date. What's the best thing to do? I guess wait, until it gets a little closer and make decisions then. I wish we even knew where we were going so I could get prepared and maybe start the house hunt ahead of time. I guess I'll just do my best to remain calm, if I'm stressed, it can't be good for the kidney bean. So I'll take it a day at a time, and keep breathing.

Friday 11 May 2007

Devastated!

Last night I received some horrible news. There was some type of mistake and there was a briefing that Drew was suppose to go to a year before we PCS, and he didn't know about it, and never heard about it. So he lost his retainability and they pushed our PCS date back to Jan 28th! I'm so upset I don't know what to do. The baby is due Jan 7th, and we wont be able to travel that early, so now it's going to be even later. This screws up everything, the whole plans to be back in the states by October, find a house, set up everything the proper way and get ready for this kid. It's now all in shambles and up in the air. What about family being able to be around for the birth? I don't know that this can get fixed, but we're going to try and if not, we'll have to figure something out. I just can't stay in this country any longer. I'm absolutely tired of it, I've been ready to go for months already, and now I'm ready to go even sooner. I feel sick about the whole situation. What a mess.

Tuesday 8 May 2007

5 weeks 2 days

Today was my first day at work since the big news! I felt pretty useless. I tried to do as much cleaning and everything as possible since I couldn't do any of the anesthetics, or even be in the room. Sally Ann is getting a full sheet sent to her from health and safety about what I am allowed to do and not allowed to do, just to be safe. It will probably just take some getting used to, but we'll find a routine. They seemed to be very understanding about it, so that's good.

I'm absolutely exhausted tonight. I had a light nausea all day long, but I don't know if that was baby related or not. I was really sensitive to smells, but I have been for a while now. I had to look through the trash for something and I almost hurled! I'm glad I'm only working part time! I wore my pedometer today and I've walked over 14 thousand steps today (about 6.3 miles), most of it is just from being at work! No wonder I'm tired.

Otherwise, things seem okay today. I probably wont update EVERY day, but I'll post at least once a week and any other memorable moments that I feel should be noted! I'm off to bed, and it's only 8:30!!

Monday 7 May 2007

5 Weeks 1 Day

I woke up at ten to 8 this morning and as soon as that clock flipped to 8AM I called to see what I needed to do to get a pregnancy test done at the hospital. They told me just to walk in and get it done. By the time I hung up the phone I already had one foot out the door and was on my way. I got there about 9 AM and filled out the required paperwork, and went to take my test. They said they would call by the afternoon.

I got home, and not half an hour later they phoned with the results: Positive! Oh wow. I guess it's REALLY real now, eh? The next step was to go to OB-GYN for a walk in appointment between 1 and 3. I left at noon and stopped by work. I figured I better let them know due to the hazards I am exposed to daily and see if there are any questions they wanted me to ask. Ian and Sally Ann were very happy for me, I cried a little, mostly because I am still uncertain, but I am happy as well. I wish I could tell parents already, but I want to do it a special way, not just blurt it out! So it must wait.

I got to the OB-GYN office and to my dismay found that the appointment was only to fill out paperwork and schedule actual appointments. I did find out my estimated due date: January 7th, 2008! I'm 5 weeks and 1 day pregnant. Crazy isn't it! I wanted to find out what things at work I should be cautious of, but the I don't think the lady there really understood my question and sent me elsewhere. I did eventually find help, and essentially I'll have to buy a respirator that filters out surgical anesthetics. They aren't too pricey so I'll look into them, otherwise I'll have to stay away from Anesthetics until then. I also had to go get a TB test. They put a small injection under my skin, and I have to go back in two days to get it "read". Whatever that means!

So, my next appointment is on the 22nd, with a nurse, and my 1st actual Doc appointment isn't until JUNE when I'm just shy of 11 weeks, but the cool thing is, we'll get to do our first ultrasound then! I'm feeling great today, still sleepy, but fine otherwise. It's been a busy morning, I think I'll take a nap!

Sunday 6 May 2007

Seriously?????

This blog is being created so family and friends can follow my pregnancy and read about my experiences! I haven't told my family yet, so there may be a few entries in this blog before anybody actually reads it!

It started off like this:

Friday night, I had been feeling bloated and campy for 2 weeks now. The last few days I've been extremely tired. I even took naps, and I NEVER take naps! I decided that if I Aunt Flo didn't visit that night, I would take a pregnancy test in the morning, because it never fails that the second I take one, she comes along within 24 hours. So Saturday morning, I clambered out of bed and sleepily trudged downstairs. I peed on the stick, and waited for the "not pregnant" sign to come up so I could go have my breakfast and get started with my day. It showed up alright, minus the NOT part.

Talk about a wake up call! I grabbed it and looked closer to make sure I wasn't seeing things, and read "pregnant" again. "Oh god". I jumped up and ran up the stairs to saying "ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod" the whole way up to Drew, who was still asleep. He opened his eyes and looked at me, and I shoved the test in his face. His eyes opened a little wider and he said "oh my". I responded, "I guess that was a pretty big oops!". He chuckled. I cried.

"I'm not ready!" I cried out, and he reminded me that I had been talking about my ticking clock for months now. My response..."I was lying!" Okay, not really, but it seemed like the best response at the time. I think shock was the biggest word. We had discussed beginning to try come July, so while this was definitely unplanned, and earlier than expected, I can't say it's unwelcomed.

We went downstairs, in silence, both taking in what had just happened. I cried again, realizing that I am 18lbs shy of my goal weight, and now I wasn't going to get there. "I wanted to be skinny first" I sobbed. Drew said "you are skinny!". Well, compared to before, I guess I am, but I still feel like I failed at my goal. Obviously somebody up above thinks I'm healthy enough to carry this gift, or else it wouldn't have happened, right!? Drew kept looking at me funny. I asked him why he kept looking at me that way and he said, "I'm excited!"

I had to go to the store to pick up a few things, so I went, and picked up another 2 pack of tests while I was at it. I went to the gym bathroom, and took another one. Still positive. Woah. Sick feeling in stomach. What have we done? Are we ready for this? Are we going to be good parents? What are OUR parents going to say? What about school? Career? I'm 26 years old. I always wanted to start a family by the time I was 27. That's pretty much right on mark, what am I so worried about? I took it light at the gym, really light, just in case, and then went to the book store and picked up "What to Expect, When You're Expecting". Maybe a bit early, right? The doctors haven't even confirmed yet! Well, better safe then sorry, I better get all the reading done that I can.

I came home, and things were starting to sink in, I was flooded with all sorts of emotions. Happiness, fear, disappointment, excitement, worry, wonder..... and then some. We hung around the house, mostly in silence, I think we're still absorbing the news ourselves. I can't make an appointment for a blood test until Monday. We went to dinner at Jackie's and it took all I had not to shout it out to her. She'll find out Tuesday anyway. I have to tell work, so that I'm not around the x-rays or gas anesthetics. We came home and I went to bed, exhausted.

This morning I woke up, expecting Aunt Flo to be here, still feeling bloated and crampy. Went pee, nothing. I guess I'm still pregnant. Pregnant. That sounds so weird. I feel almost, irresponsible! How could you let yourself get pregnant!? Wait, it's okay, you're happily married, you have health care, a roof over your head, you have a steady income. It's not the end of the world! It's the beginning of a new life! It's scary. I wish I could tell my parents right away, but I have to wait, and do it a super cute way, no blurting it out!! Must refrain!!

I still feel tired this morning, my boobs hurt, and I'm a little bit crampy still. But otherwise okay, none of the other tell tale signs. When does it start to feel real? When do you "feel pregnant"? I guess I'll find out. In the meantime, I'll keep waiting, and keep expecting Aunt Flo to come, and keep being as healthy as possible.